A useful parental tool.

I found this nifty little application today, I thought it was so well put together that I'd share it with all of you. - ENJOY!

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

Print out & submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form.

1. Name: ___________________________________________Date of Birth: ______________

2. Height: _________________________ Weight: _____________________ GPA: _________

3. Social Sec #: ____________________ Drivers license #: ____________________________

4. Boy Scout Rank: ___________________________________________________________

5. Home address: ____________________________________ City/State: ________________

6. Do you have one male & one female parent? Yes __________ No ____________

7. If no, explain: ______________________________________________________________

8. Number of years parents married: _______________________________________________

9. Do you own a van?________A truck w/ oversized tires? _________ A Water bed? _________

10. Do you have an earring, nose ring, belly button ring? ____________ A Tattoo? ____________
(if yes to any of #9 or #10, discontinue application and leave premises.....)

11. In 20 words or less, what does LATE mean to you? ________________________________

12. In 20 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you? _________________________

13. In 20 words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you? ___________________________________________________________________________

14: Church you attend: _________________ How often you attend: ______________________

15: When would be the best time to interview your Mother, Father & Priest? ________________

16: What would you be IF I allow you to grow up? ___________________________________


Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely - all answers are confidential

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be:

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be:

When I meet a girl, the first thing I notice is her:
(Note: If your answer begins with either T or A, discontinue the application and leave the premises:
Keep low and run in a serpentine fashion)

I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED IS TRUE AND ACCURATE TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE, UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND/OR DISMEMBERMENT.

Signature of applicant: ______________________________________________________

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved.

Please do NOT attempt to call or write. If your application is rejected you will be notified by two large Eastern European gentlemen in trench coats carrying violin cases.

APPLICANT'S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD
____________________________




____________________________

                                            This is Emily, my inspiration for this blog entry.....

Josie Springbett Ayres

Sept 16 1982 – Aug 29 2010

This blog entry is so hard for me.

I got back from England last night after spending the week with what I consider “my other family”.
When I was 17, I worked as a nanny for the Springbett family who had 3 children. Zoe 6, Josie 5 and Jack- maybe 10 months old. They quickly became like family. Zoe and Josie were precocious little monsters and I loved them completely; and Jack was just a sweetheart. I stayed with the family until I was 21 or 22. We have kept in close contact and I stayed with them or visited them whenever I returned to England.

Josie was diagnosed with cancer in 2007. She endured not just chemo, but several surgeries, courses of radiotherapy, endless scans, endless appointments, devices implanted, head shaves, etc so when I saw her latest blog entry I wasn’t surprised, but I was devastated!

Josie’s last blog entry- August 12th 2010
Hello everyone,
It's just going to be a short update today as I'm feeling a bit lost for words. I did however want everyone to know that I've decided to end treatment. I've had the feeling for a while that the chemo is running out of steam and I don't see the point of weakening my body with something that the cancer is now hardened to. I think I had made my decision a while back, but I don't like giving up and it's hard to tell your loved ones that you have.

I got a text from Zoe on Saturday at 1:30pm saying that Josie was struggling and only had hours left.
At 2pm I booked a flight and at 3pm I was in the airport on my way to say Goodbye.

I landed at 11am and drove straight to the hospital. I was 2 minutes too late. She was gone...
So a light went out, and England will never quite be the same without my little pixie.

Sleep well Josie, you are loved xx

What a wierd Summer!

Summer's are full of swimming and sunshine and happy laughing children right?... Well kinda'

 I'm working, so that is an adjustment, the days of hanging out with them at the pool the whole time are a vague memory. But it's more than that. I've been in the strangest mood. I don't know know if it's my age, or their ages, or my hormones or theirs, but something's definately going on that I was unprepared for!

This year Richard grew taller than me - a lot taller than me, started shaving, and got his temps. Emily got too gorgeous for words and suddenly realized it.

Their social calendars are unpredictable and full, and...I'm just the driver.

My calendar dried up to nothing and without singing and I've been floundering.

However.....schools back in session next week, and I get back to rehearsals in 2 weeks.

I'm becoming sane again, I can feel it.

Hallelujah!

Some Helpful Tips That Men Should Know!

When we are truly angry, we go silent. That is your opportunity to apologize, or run. But at that point, neither of these things will save you.

Never underestimate the power of a kiss on the forehead.

Seeing you in a suit never fails to impress us.

That low-cut top — we wouldn't wear it if we didn't want you to look. Just be discrete about it.

When we say we want to share a dessert, we really mean we want you to have just one bite and offer the rest to us. We were planning on eating the entire lava cake ourselves anyway, but this way we don't feel guilty.

Even if we assure you we don't believe in Valentine's Day, buy the damn flowers. It couldn't be easier.

Speedos are never okay.

We could always use a little more cowbell.

Don't tease us. We're not your little sister.

When we're out together, and we see a tall, leggy model, remember: tall, leggy models are not your type.

Putting dishes in the sink doesn't count as doing the dishes.

If we really do look fat in something, by all means say so. But you don't actually have to use the word "fat."

Fifty percent of the time we say we're just kidding, we're actually telling the truth.

Confidence, not arrogance is sexy.

Guys who do a lot of yoga kind of creep us out: men really don't have to be that bendy.

Being thought of is awesome. Tips for when you're at work: send me a link to something I would like, or text a picture of something that made you think of me, or a note that you heard a song on the radio that reminded you of me.


We aren't all romantic comedy junkies. Some of us would rather watch The Godfather. (Except Part III.)


If you win it's because e let you win. It's just easier that way-


If it looks like a woman and her friend are having a good conversation, it's absolutely not a good time to try and meet them.


You should be able to read our minds at all times.


We like it when you're direct. So just say it.


Even a text can be thoughtful, if it means you're thinking of us.


We notice hot guys all the time, but we're discreet about  it.

We all have an evil twin. Get to know her, she’s a lot of fun!

We do a billion things to our skin, hair, nails, etc. just to keep them pretty. Notice!


We will never ask for popcorn or candy at movies but if you get some we will always help you eat it.


If she tells you to never call her again and hangs up on the phone with you, there is an excellent chance that she’s waiting near her phone for you to call her. —


We notice how long it takes for you to answer a text message. We time it down to the last nanosecond. Then we analyze why it took you that long. We're like that.


If you didn't hear us, don't pretend you did. You'll never win that game.


We want to trust you, which is why we hire private detectives


We can tell when you're not listening. Hey! You!


If you text us and we call immediately after, please answer the phone. We know you have it right there.


The less you pack for a vacation, the more room we have to fill your suitcase up with our shoes.


We love it when we can still make you blush.

Escorting us into a room with your hand at the small of our back makes us smile.


Just because we're asleep doesn't mean we don't know what you're doing. We always know what you're doing.


If you don't touch us in public, the relationship is going nowhere—fast.


The girl who had a crush on you in the third grade probably still thinks about you once a week. Okay, twice.


Don't ask why we're afraid of insects. Just kill the damn bug, already.


If we're wearing heels it's so our legs can look good. We feel sexy in them but it usually isn't all that comfortable so slow down when you're walking beside us. Thank you.


If you think it's a test, it's probably a test.


We think of dinner as an obstacle in the way of dessert. We don't like that you don't like dessert.


We pretend to like your taste in music, and then we forget that we were pretending and end up actually liking your music.

We don't even know what fantasy football is.


It is not required that you be the center of attention, Leave that to us.


Telling me I'm acting ridiculous is the absolute worst way to get me to stop acting ridiculous.


We've always had crushes on you. We never thought you had cooties.


There should never be rhinestones on your clothing. Ever. We are the sparkly ones.


We like it when you kiss the top of our head.


Never pinch the muffin-top. This is grounds for execution.


We are manipulative beasts. Call us on it from time to time.


If we see you treat wait staff or cashiers poorly, you’ll probably never get to second base.


We are judging your outfit, whether silently or not, from head to toe, right this very moment.


If we offer you gum, it means we want to kiss you later. It's not an insult. Just take the gum.

Musical memories!

So I've been posting song lyrics on facebook for the last couple of weeks. It started as music that I was listening to at that moment and the words struck me for one reason or another. Then people started asking for me to post at different times of the day so that it wasn't always the same people winning - you know who you are Joe G.
I was flattered that friends were having fun with it...

So I thought, I know, I'll be tricky and post from random era's.
This is where I really started to have fun.

I dug deep into the musical archives of my mind and began pulling lyrics from songs that had an impact on me, one way or another.
This of course, lead to memory upon memory. Some great, some, not so much.
Memories of friends, places, food, kisses (sigh), clothes (yikes) and hairstyles (double yikes).

I think I'll continue posting these musical memories as it's been a real pleasure to remember things long forgotten. Every ones welcome to play....Brain power, no googling!
I always put a YouTube video up after the games been won, so that way you can join me on my journey through time.
My hope is that some of them will bring up luscious memories for you too...

I made a huge mistake!

The Cleveland Orchestra Chorus has a rigorous schedule. During our season we sing every Monday, sometimes Sundays too and concert weeks we are at Severance every night. So when Summer comes along and we are given the choice to sing Blossom, it isn't mandatory. So this year, for the first time I decided to skip it and take some time for myself.

BIG MISTAKE!

So far, every Monday I've thought, Ugh, I could be singing tonight, and Friday is the big American Spectacular Celebration at Blossom Music Center.


 I'm not singing but I am going!
Sean, Richard and I will set up our picnic on the lawn and have a great night.

So, I'll be singing every Summer from now on as apparently I can't last 8 weeks without it.

What do Led Zeppelin, the Cleveland Orchestra and The Rocky Horror Picture Show have in common?

Well, I'll tell you....me!
I was riding through the metro parks todays, it was gorgeous, not too hot, not too cold, as Goldilocks would say "It was juuuust right".
I had my music on, as usual, I couldn't ride without it, all that fresh air and nature would overwhelm me out without something to distract me.
So I'm pootling along on the path at my own happy speed, when I see the real thing pass me, the lycra cyclist,s riding on the road ahead of me with their fancy outfits and their big huge helmets which look more suited to a bobsled run than a ride through Cleveland's parks. Ahhh, I'm in awe of their shaved legs and killer calfs (calves?). Well all of a sudden, I'm catching up with them...am I getting my second wind?

No of course not! I realized to my shock that they have LET me catch up to them....why?
As I close the gap between us, they turn and smile at me and I suddenly understand  what's going on.

I have my music cranked, and I'm singing! They are listening! and they seem to be enjoying themselves, cos they must have heard at least 3 songs now. When they saw that the gig was over, they again smiled at me and took off at light speed, leaving me in their dust, feeling quite stupid actually.